Ashley Sharie
Mar 21, 2018
Based on my content calendar (of sorts - #kanyeshrug), I was prepared to break down an entirely different topic on the blog this week. But I've seen a few things in Facebook groups over the last few days that I wanted to address. I’ve seen grumblings about the success of others. How it’s becoming too much, and beyond that — not realistic.
Specifically all the "happy-go-lucky, look at me I work from the beach/lavish lifestyle Entrepreneurs" -- the ones that make it seem like everything is easy breezy and OH they did it all in 9 months and will be moving to Bali in 2 weeks. You see them everywhere. Especially if you are a coach, they pop up in almost every coaching group, in your newsfeed etc -- and always wanting you to drop an emoji or a gif for more secrets and insights.
Let’s take a moment to acknowledge that yes, some are not being entirely truthful -- but let’s focus on the ones who are. Let’s focus on what’s within your control. Your perspective.
If I'm being all the way real, I used to HATE these posts. But I didn't want to be seen as a hater -- so I would say #goals and carry on with my scrolling. They really were goals though -- who doesn’t want a 6+ figure business, leave their day job, retire their spouse to work for them and whatever else, right?
...but later in the day it’s a guarantee I would be annoyed thinking HOW is this their life?! I have the business degrees, I have put in the work, when is it my turn...[insert tiny violin playing]
One day I was scrolling and caught myself just as I was about to roll my eyes, and asked Why? Why does this bother me so much?
How could I be mad at others for defining the life they want to live, and making a way to live it?
At that point in time I had not done anything remotely similar for myself. Yes, I was degree'd, and yes I knew what to do. But, I was moving forward with a somewhat clear vision, shaky on how I wanted to carry it out, playing by other “experts” rules, and pretty much scared to definitively declare any one thing because I "didn’t want to lose any potential customers."
Basically, my whole setup was rooted in a lack mindset. And on top of that -- the lack of details combined with the less than compelling vision itself -- this was the foundation of my business.
What was I really even building?
Despite what my envy lead me believe, it's actually really easy to excel at something when you have a solid idea and clear vision. If you know you want to work from the beach, if you know you want to move to Bali, and if you know you want to be a systems guru -- that’s infinitely easier to make happen, than if you don’t know what you want from your life/business at all.
My idea of #goals was the highlight reel that is the perfectly staged flatlays and #girlboss photos on IG, and my strategy looked a lot like my take on others success principles (the ones I could glean from their freebies because I hadn't invested in the help I needed yet).
Yes, I was attempting to build a successful business, but I didn't really have any idea what that success meant to me. Did I want to work on the beach? Did I want to move to Bali? (Spoiler alert: I want to beach on the beach)
Beyond that, what do these “things” represent for me?
I was jealous of the freedom these businesses were bringing their owners. I realized that for my business be my own #goals -- it needed to enhance my freedom.
Deconstructing freedom for myself, and “adding” it to my business took a few steps:
I listed what freedom meant to and looked like for me. This list looked like 3 day work weeks, work free vacations, a team to support my business, a team to support my life (hello maid!) etc.
I made it a nonnegotiable. I made an agreement to myself that if freedom translated to the aforementioned list, then these were my #goals. I was going to be fiercely committed to my vision for my life, while still celebrating the visions and achievements of others. No more envy.
I started right away. I started building my business to support my vision of freedom now. I looked at my processes, I looked at my services, and I looked at my goals — I made sure that everything was in alignment.
Contrary to popular belief, success doesn't create the life you want. YOU create the life you want, and success further supports your ability to do so. It enhances it -- it does not make it appear out of thin air.
Who have you secretly (or not so secretly) been envious of? Turn this envy around and make it about you; dig deeper and get to the root. How can you build your business now to reflect your idea of success?